The Savage Tide
I’m not looking forward to going back the to Abyss. -Kira
Yeah, Yeferia is there! -Brandon
Does is look like it has combat reflexes? It has man-boobs! -Meric
We’d need an epic-level antacid. -Mirri
How many four-year olds can fit in a bag of holding?
You should tell them of another form of adventuring called . . . farming! -Iago
Cast ‘detect demons’ on the couatls?
Go read Judy Blume! -Iago
Use my ass to climb up! -Baelon
Its all shaft.
Then I guess we got shafted.
Don’t make me harangue you.
Otherwise we’d all be harange-utans.
I don’t think the evils oysters are going to fulfill any evil world domination plans in our absence. -Kira
Huh. You don’t look like a steak. -Baelon
I will stand behind my husband. -Diana
I don’t want you in sneak attack position! -Ryan
There is a Vrishka tree swimming in the lake.
When was that?
About a minute before you woke up screaming ‘manboobs!’
I wanted to fly! -Elora, holding the tail of a giant crocodile
I bring you Bourbon! -Iago
(rolls natural one)
Yeah, you’re high on radishes. -DM
(smiles) What do you want? -DM
I want my intelligence! -Ryan
Hey, you would have gone off-script, too! -Yeferia
I trust me! -Miri
Thank God we’re only casual acquaintances. -Iago
What’s more valuable, a deinonychous or a griffon?
I’m a fat pansy. -Kanderous
I think we need to invest in some epic-level floaties.
Peet takes a gnome to the gut.
And that’s what happens when you fart on a paladin! -Meric
Frizzon! Diplomacy—wait, I’ll make the ape do it. -Kira
Do I have to? -Ryan
Yes. This too. -DM
(Tico slaps Baelon)
Wow! My whole day just got better! -Baelon
Would a half-gnoll, half-shambling mound be a grassy gnoll?
When you care enought o send the very best, send a gnomogram.
Yeferia has had two people forced to follow her, one is now a detah knight and the other is engaged. -Brandon
You can’t buy me off with cheese . . . well, maybe a little bit. -Ryan
That bastard is either really smart or really stupid. -Mirri
Am I fat? -Briella
Yes, very much so! -Axtli, paying a ocmpliment
(Ryan taps frozen cheese in freezer)
There’s cheese in the fridge! -Diana
But I want a cheesesicle! -Ryan
(Yeferia lands on top of Axtli)
Oh, excuse me, wrong orb. -Yeferia
“Swiss-army stick” (kauakoi)
Um, that’s rather outside the area of my expertise. I think I’ll go back to studying my balls. -Miri
Kanderous threw one of his balls on the ground and it shattered. Then Frizzon turned into an elf. -Tico
Who are you? -Theo
I’m Frizzon. -Frizzon
Frizzon had a life-altering experience. -Kira
He died. -Axtli
He got better. -Kira
I like mapping . . . and this rock. -Frizzon
Frizzon! Stop making out with the rock! -Yeferia
There’s no such thing as ‘abandoned’ in the D&D universe. There’s always a ghost or a demon, or a hobo . . . who’s actually a ghost-demon. There’s always something! -Ryan
So, you’re just going to hold your action until Yeferia throws you through the window. -DM to Frizzon
Is the shrine safe? -Ira
Yup, it’s still on fire. -Kira
It may not be on your menu, but’s in on my quest-log. -Ryan
Life sucks; welcome back, Kira.
Well, we’re going back to the Isle of Dread.
Good, I miss it.
Quick!, Get on the sled with the bison! -Tico
The bison cannot steer. -Will
Not only was I summoned to a tube, but I was covered in vomit! -Celestial Bison
He’s gonna have a breast-shaped indentation on his face. -Will
Either I slather this [butter] on myself or I’ve got a rabbit to kill. -Frizzon
I will call it . . . Savage Breasts!
Wouldn’t that be Tico?
(Great Globes of Vengeance)
You speak Maztican, right? -Tico
No, I speak rabbit. -Frizzon
A rabbit in every pot. -‘Avner’ (Tico)
You’re jamming so many words into his mouth that they’re starting to leak out of his ass. (about Tico advocatin on behalf of Avner)
Translate, please. -Miri
Uh, she said ‘the smelly winged one’, which usually means Kira. -Tavey
So, this belonged to him? -Miri
D6’s do not go back there! -Will
You came to this island to fins wierd magical shit. Well here’s wierd magical shit.-DM
Who has the keys? I gave them to Diana. -Mom
I gave them to Ryan. -Diana
I gave them to a trustworthy-looking squirrel back at the entrance. -Ryan
Are you sure it wasn’t a ferret? -Diana
It said it was a squirrel. -Ryan
“When it comes to diseases, as afar as I’m concerned, if its not a balor then its free xp.” -Ryan
“No, I’m just naturally full of doom.” -Ryan the DM
“Oh, shit. Axtli!” -Kira
“Yeah, we made a Bar-lgura cry.” -Axtli
“That’s it, no more healing for you.” -Axtli
“You still have healing?” -Kira
“Do you want ‘Shillelagh’?” -Axtli
“Uh, no. I’ve got ‘Fly’ and a crossbow.” -Miri
“Couldn’t your double just counterfeit with a ‘Fly’ spell?” -Axtli
“I don’t understand the rules for counterspelling, so I’m pretty sure my double wouldn’t either.” -Miri
“Why am I on the ground again?” -Kira
“We don’t have time for his freaky fetishes, I want my bag back!” -Miri
“I thought you wanted a prestige class.” -DM
“But I didn’t know i would have to GRAPPLE for it!” -Ryan
“She said she wanted to be one with her goddesses.”
“She’s not dead. She just went to . . . Heaven.”
“You gain 14 hp.” -DM
“Sweet! I’m at 15 hp!” -Brandon
“Because I’m a grumpy bastard!” -Kira
“Just remember Avner, no tongue.” -on political baby-kissing
“We better get out of here before something bigger comes along” -Tico
“What could be bigger than that?” -Frizzon
“I don’t want to know,” -Kira
“Could be a kraken.” -Goddess
“I said I don’t want to know! Leave me in my happy bubble!” -Kira
“All to give a human diarrhea.” -Anonymous
“More importantly, I don’t want him getting blood on my kimono” -Kira
“Can you fertilize my eggs?” -A flattered but confused Tyrannosaurus
“Elves are natually awesome.” -Myri
“Are you sure you’re an elf?” -Frizzon
“You’d better hope to gods I am.” -Myri
“HEY YOU!” -Frizzon, in rabbit to a terror bird
“DWARVEN POOP is not funny!” -Kanderous Rathbone