The Savage Tide

Fornick's Epic (In Progress)

“I don’t do them fancy journal things. I talk, you listen. Yeah, go ahead and record it. Yes, now. I said now. You were already…? Whatever. Bloody bards.”

Things had been pretty damn boring for as long as I can remember. At least as far as last week. So, after spending some time hiding aboard ship while the big fancy-pants adventurers stirred up trouble in Scuttlebutt, or whatever it’s called, we got orders to sail to “the Wreck!” Apparently some big damn pirate hideout. Crimson Feet, or something. No, I don’t remember, godsdammnit, it was rum day.

Anywho, it was friggin tedious, chuggin’ through the water an inch at a time, avoiding half-sunk ships in the rain. Then we finally find a place to land. And wouldn’t you know it! They need some muscle! So you can bet I was gonna volunteer. Me and some pirate chick. Some hussy or other. Hussy Javell, that’s it! Yes, of course that’s her name. Look, who’s paying your tab with an obscene amount of reverse-plundered pirate wealth, eh?

So the group splits up, the elf and the new bald guy go one way, and we follow the daft sun-worshiper and his cute sister. I’m totally ready to smash somethin’ at this point, axes ready, but for some reason they didn’t want me charging in. Damn cowards, if you ask me. Moot point, since they were talking so loud that the pirates found us anyway. Finally something to kill! Glorious!

The details are a little fuzzy around this point. I remember there being snake people. They finally let me do things my way, and I charged through the next door. There were two snake ladies just sitting there. Now, I couldn’t just slaughter someone who wasn’t even acting aggressive, so I said, “Would you mind defending yourselves so this would be a little less awkward for me?” Perfectly reasonable, I thought. Then they tried to use magic. I think one of them made herself look nicer, cuz she didn’t seem quite so hideous for a while. The folks outside were apparently getting attacked, and asked me what I could see. I said, “There’s one really nice snake lady in here…and one that still looks pretty ugly.” I think that made the other snake lady mad, since she started getting really testy and bossy. I think she was trying to hire me. Anyway, the situation here was getting a little out of control, so I positioned myself in the doorway to prevent any of the poor fellows outside from getting into this mess. Very noble of me, I think. Then I see the chick with the rainbow wings getting attacked by a snake guy, and I just go ballistic. I charge bravely through the melee, and launch myself off the dock at the guy! I grab him and try to wrestle him into submission…in mid-air. Then the bastard decides to fly up into the air. But I didn’t let go! No sir!

Eventually, we get back to the ground. Apparently his magic wore off, and we slaughtered him. Eventually, we saved some prisoners of the pirates. Some light-skinned dark elf chick and an orc. Pretty shady, if you ask me, but they were as good as their word and helped us kill some pirates! We fought our way to the top of the Wreck, where we reunited with the other group. We found them engaged in battle to the death with a bunch of pirates and demons! Sadly, the demon was pretty much dead by the time I got there, so I entertained myself by taking out one of the ballista operators. Apparently, she didn’t think much of my offers to accept her surrender, and I had to put her down. And killed her, of course. Then I noticed that the main fight had moved downstairs, and the elf chick and some others were battling a big pirate guy and his flunkies. And they were directly beneath me. So, I let out a great war cry and leaped over the rail! I fell several dozen feet and landed, axes first, on the chief pirate! Sadly, it wasn’t enough to take him out, and the bastard got some good hits on me. I was about to finish him off, when the dark elf chick got him in the kidneys, or something. She pricked him, and he just fell over. And she claimed his sword. Bloody wench!

Ah well. It was a glorious battle! You haven’t lived until you’ve had frostbite on your liver.

Yeferia's Record of Battle

What a day. We get to the Wreck in the middle of a storm. It took us hours to realize that there was an illusion keeping it hidden. Then we got into the thing, and I saw why they call it “the Wreck.” Some crazy lunatic (right, demon worshippers) had managed to get not one, not two, but FIVE ships of various sizes stuck up Vrishka trees, and connected them with rope bridges, gang plans, climbing ropes, and so on. It was very bizarre.

I thought we were going to have an easy time of it after we used the scroll we’d bought to dismiss the Slaad. It was fairly easy going at first. We managed to take most everyone we met by surprise, and even got a bit of local help in the bargain. Then we went to the upper levels and everything went to pot.

It may not have actually been a trap, but it sure felt like one. We were getting flanked left and right by pirates, we were being shot at by ballistae as big as carts, and it was all we could do to fend them off. Some kind of spellcaster showed up and started slinging spells, and at that point Baelan ran off like a shot to settle his hash. It turned out, much to our shock and dismay, that it wasn’t a spellcaster, but a Marilith-like demon called an Orlath in disguise. The bloody thing had two torsos with two baboon heads sprouting from its snake-like lower body, and each torso had six arms a piece, with a scimitar in each hand. Apparently Demogorgon made it by throwing the bisected corpse of an enemy Marilith (really though, are any demons really friendly to each other?) into some kind of demonic spawning pit or something… I’m really not very clear on any of the details. Suffice to say it was a nasty looking thing. Baelan had about two seconds to make his “oh shit” face before it made a dozen slashes and he went down like a rock.

Of course everyone started to freak at that point. It helped that just at that time Merik and his group (who had gone off in a different direction for some reason that was not made clear and that he didn’t elaborate on) decided to show up. They set to work dealing with the Orlath, while the rest of us on the other side worked at tidying up that end. We had almost got it sorted when the bosses started showing up, led by the Boss of Bosses, Cold Captain Wyther.

I’ll admit that when I had heard that Vanthus had beaten Wyther, I’d assumed the Cold Captain was nothing but a weakling. It turns out this is not the case at all. His defeat is not so much a measure of Wyther being a weakling, but rather of Vanthus being a cold, hard, first rank villain. Not too shabby, I suppose, for a scumbag that got his start burning in his own parents and stealing his sister’s inheritance. He still has to pay for that fully, and this time he’s not getting a burial. But I digress. Wyther was huge and burly, strong as a bull and built like one too, with a huge bastard sword in his hand, and he decided that he was interested in me! I got to find out first hand why he was called “Cold Captain” Wyther; his bastard sword was made out of cold iron, and delivered a blast of cold with each stroke, like I had stepped outside into an Icewind Dale midwinter’s evening without my clothes on.

I held up against him tolerably well, but it was hard going. I was all by myself at first, since Kira and nearly everyone else had gone to the other side to deal with the Orlath, not to mention that he had the Pirate Cheer Squad backing him up. It didn’t help either that I went into that fight without having healed myself. Still, we rarely if ever find ourselves in ideal circumstances. I manfully (womanfully? elffully? paladinfully?) faced off against the bastard, and gave as well as I got for at least one hit or two. Still, his sword was sharp, and I was already wounded, and before too long had passed I went down to the ground.

For a time I lay there in darkness. I knew I was very close to death, but it didn’t seem to be getting any closer, which was a relief. Then I was healed by someone that I later discovered was Cassidhe. She’s really a very brave and resourceful girl. I just hope that she really understands that Kira sees her more like the daughter he never had, or the sister he wished he had, than as a love interest. I think she does, but it’s still a little vague. I’ll feel better when him and Lavinia have patched things up, or at least made a respectable break of it instead of pussy-footing around while leaving important things unsaid. Those two seriously both need to stop lying to themselves and start being honest with each other, and saying what’s on their minds.

But I digress.

When I woke up, the fight was over. Cold Captain Wyther was dead as a doornail, as were all his undercaptains and soldiers. The Orlath was dead too, and I heard that there was a Retriever that had shown up around the time I had gone unconscious, and that we’d killed that too. Unfortunately, we’d lost a few people. The pirate we’d taken down from the side of a ship had been killed by a horde of underlings (I had been occupied with my own set of underlings at the time, and was unable to help him), and Harliss Javel, who we’d rescued from harpies back in Scuttlecove, had died trying to kill the Orlath in a one on one fight. I feel bad that they both died, though trying to take on an Orlath one on one has to qualify as one of the crazier things in the world. Still, who am I to talk? I want to take on Demogorgon himself, and even if I would go into it prepared and ready, with comrades at my side and an army at my back, it would be a hard fight even then. This battle made me realize that I am nowhere near ready to tangle with Demogorgon, or indeed even Vanthus. I was beaten, nearly unto death, by a man Vanthus had no trouble beating. And Demogorgon must certainly be many levels higher than Vanthus.

Leaving these considerations aside, we looted the place of all that would be useful and burnt it to the ground. None of us had any desire to leave anything for the Crimson Fleet to come back and make use of.

Harliss Debriefs

It had just been a really shitty week for me from the beginning. I had gone to Scuttlecove to scout out the Crimson Fleet for purposes of laying waste to their dirty little secret base, burning their ships to the waterline, and murdering every last one of them. It hadn’t been personal at that point though; it was just business. The Scarlet Brotherhood and the Crimson Fleet have been competitors for long years, of course. They would have done the same to us, given half a chance.

What I didn’t expect was them capturing me. What I really didn’t expect was for them to defy every custom and convention of war and instead of sending a ransom request back to the Scarlet Brotherhood, they proceeded directly to the torture.

I’m not going to get into that. At all. But suffice to say that I now hate harpies with every fiber of my being. Scumbags.

That crazy purple haired elf and her tiefling boy toy had heard I was in town, and came to spring me. However, he wasn’t a tiefling anymore, and he was also bald. What’s up with that? Though it did suit him. I was rather surprised they even remembered me, and that they bothered to show up. It’s just too bad they didn’t do it sooner. Still, those bitches got what was coming to them. None of the rest of the crew that was with the elf chick and the ex-tiefling were the same as the last time. From the look of things, they’ve had some massive turnover problems. Not surprising considering the business they’re in.

They told me their plan and I said yes immediately. It dovetailed quite well with my original goals, only this time it was personal. I wanted blood. Lots of it. That originally belonged to others. On my sword and my hands.

We got to the Wreck and I was ready. I wouldn’t be satisfied until my blade had been covered in Crimson Fleet blood. It wouldn’t really matter if I lived or died. The only trouble with dying, to my thinking, was the missed opportunities for killing more Fleeters. As it was I mostly had to content myself with killing Yuan-ti who presumably were working for the Crimson Fleet. Not quite what I had wanted, but whatever. Killing felt therapeutic.

Unfortunately, it turns out I had bit off more than I could chew. Not to mention I came to the party without my best gear. No cold iron, no holy weapons, no axiomatic weapons, no demon bane, nothing. I realized halfway into the battle that I didn’t even have any cure potions. Oh well. I had told myself that live or die, I would go all the way here. And that’s what I did.

One of the newbies said that the thing was something like a Marilith. A brainier one corrected him and said it was an Orlath, something Demogorgon had made when he split a Marilith in half from stem to stern, dumped the carcass in some demon creation engine, and it grew back as a two-headed, baboon faced, Marilith thingy. With twelve hands. Each of which was wielding scimitars. Yeah, I’m not sure if that was the only one of its kind or if that crazy fucker Demogorgon made more of them. All I have to say is, don’t tangle with those unless you’re “loaded for bear,” as the saying goes with the miners up north.

A saner woman would have backed off and supported from behind. Let the people best suited for the fight take care of that bad boy. Not me. Charged right up to it and tried to skewer it with my rapier.

It didn’t even make a scratch.

The two heads leered at me. About six seconds later I realized I had been slashed to ribbons, and was dead as dead could be. I’m going to wait it out here for a while. My god’s a lazy bum, but I expect he’ll send someone to pick me up eventually.

Captain's Log
Wrecking the Wreck
Kanderous Rathbone here. To make a long story short (and to omit details I wouldn’t want my darling Tiefling wife to know about), I got captured with one of my crew. All the other cowards deserted or died. Maybe I should look into that second job. Juni and I are stuck in this prison at the home base of the Scarlet Brotherhood. From beyond, we can hear the sounds of fighting. A naked Juni tries to squeeze through the bars of her cell door, contorting in ways I never thought a half-drow could (or would). I’m too beefy to even try to fit through the bars, but I try kicking my door down, to no avail. It appears as if I’m held fast here, while Juni works her magic. I kick the cell doors again, and Juni grunts in pain as I hear a snapping noise- a rib, or part of the door? It seems I risk injuring my erstwhile companion every time I try to escape. My ears hear screaming, and then the battle stops. Someone I don’t know kicks in the door, and I think they mean to kill us. Maybe. I recognize Meric, though, so we may yet get out of here. A ball of fire hits, almost roasting everyone. A grubby dwarf yanks Juni the rest of the way through, getting a little grabby in the process. Oh well, no one’s perfect. Free, we both get dressed. Meric, holy roller that he is, makes a comment about “fixing” Juni’s flaw of being a half-drow. I do like him, but sometimes he can be as dumb as a bucket of shrimp. Eh, we all could. I’m sure she’ll do something horrific to him later.

I urge us to move on. Elora (I think that was her name anyway) asks me if I’ve ever died. If she didn’t look so much like Meric, she’d be pretty. Well, she is pretty, in that androgynous way. Meric points out that most half races are evil. The dwarf remarks that he, too, is half-dwarf. His other half is dwarf as well. Anyway, it’s not long before we come to a door that seems not to be guarded. After some careful plans are made, Fornic (the grubby dwarf who got grabby with Juni) kicks the door clean off its hinges, and charges into the room. I’m not sure what the snake wenches within do to him, but it’s certain they magic the crap out of him. Trusty Juni helps Elora pin one of the snake wenches to the wall. Meric unmagicks Fornic, who whirls upon the mindscrewer. A bunch of tentacles burst out of the docks, and another snake wench appears in the air. Then everything goes dark. Meric dispels it, I think), and I can’t reach any of the snake wenches, so I investigate the room. I find a pile of loot, and yell it out, as per my personal code- gotta share the loot and all that. Juni joins me. I stuff my pockets with coinage, while Juni makes a quick check of the battle (it’s going swimmingly, by the way), and I make my own check. These other guys, despite not even being part of my crew, are really good and well trained- just not coordinated. As I said, they’re not part of my crew…

Juni tries to read the snake jibberish, but I don’t think she can. The snake wenches fall from the sky. Elora has to pull Fornic out of the drink. Juni and I share what’s left of the loot, as per my charter. From the other doorway, we can see a battle raging on the Wreck, and some unlucky half-dragon meets its maker. Meric asks for a teleport, and Elora does the deed.

Ugh. Teleporting always makes me sick.

We end up right next to some giant snake-baboons thing with two torsos and more arms that a giant spider has legs. Harliss charges, foulmouthed and irate. She dies a quick, horrible death in a furious storm of blades. This thing is damned dangerous! I use my sacred scabbard to bless my cold iron sword- if that doesn’t hurt it, I don’t know what would. I see a weirdly savaged Kira flying towards us, with no wings. Juni furiously attacks the creature, whatever it is. Meric does somethingorother, a bolt of some kind I think, and puts a whole lot of hurt on it. Fornic runs away, leering at one of the operators of the ballista. I can appreciate the wiles of lust, but I don’t think this is the right time! Some lady I don’t know hurls some magic at it, and I step in front of Elora to protect her. Juni continues to cut on it. And Meric blasts it again. The creature explodes, showering us with slightly acidic gore that burns like fire. Not that I can worry about that just now- a golem shows up. Not that I worry too much. Juni is an expert at killing these things. Why do you think I hired her? Her perfect, ebony flesh? Nope. She’s good at killing and drinking, and just now, I’m paying her to kill!

Then, a winged guy shows up, and I don’t recognize him- at first. It’s Cold Captain Wyther, the Pirate King of the Scarlet Brotherhood. I’m about to kill him- he just doesn’t know it yet. I’m still burning a bit from the acid, but it’ll have to wait…there’s someone more important to kill. I hastily make my way across the rope bridge.

I see Yeferia- by the Laughing Captain, it’s been too long- and she’s in dire straits. Time to play hero; I continue the charge, but I’m hurting from the acid. A wizard girl comes flying towards me, and disappears. Captain Wyther hacks at Yeferia, while the Retriever zaps one of the scummy pirates into stone. I do, however, see opportunity…none of the pirates seem to see me.

I sneak up behind the scum, and the Screamer goes right through his chest. I spit on the corpse, wiping the blade of my sword quickly on his torso.

“Kanderous!” Yeferia yelps in surprise.

“Now you’re fightin’ beside a real pirate king,” I tell her. I’m feeling good about this fight, despite the fact that we may all die. What can I say? I’m one hell of an optimist.

In response, Wyther attacks Yeferia, who drops like a rock, and I hear a noise behind me- Fornic lands on top of the scum behind me, screaming a warcry of some sort. My back covered, I visit a hell of a lot of pain on the lowlife in front of me. From out of nowhere, a bit of magic comes flying out at Wyther, who starts drooling and shrieking. Did…did he just get stupider? Is that possible? He comes charging and slashing at me with that sword of his, and the cold bites into my chest so hard I shiver just a little bit. However, I see his dagger coming in for the kill and I parry it with my own- and his goes skittering off onto the deck of the ship. A blade appears at his side, gashing him on the ribs…once again, Juni has my back. There’s no time for celebration, however; a ballista hits Juni square in the chest, and she recoils. Hell, she’s been hit with cannonballs before. If that didn’t stop her, some giant arrow won’t do it, either.

“Don’t let that little toothpick stop you,” I say to her.

“Naturally, Captain.”

Possibly screaming obscenities, Fornic moves in and cuts into Wyther himself, putting a good deal of hurt on the self styled “Pirate King”, hacking with wild abandon and a goofy grin on his face. I want in on the action, but his cronies catch me offguard- I can only flail at Wyther feebly. I curse under my breath! Somehow, Yeferia begins to heal. Wyther, frothing at the mouth, rages at Fornic, who gets absolutely punished. The crazy dwarf still stands, defiant. “Is that all you got?!” he yells. This guy definitely belongs on my crew. Juni strikes again, another furious attack hitting home. Wyther coughs up blood and falls over dead. I will have to promote her after this.

“Ugh, thank you, Casidhe,” Yeferia says. Fornic gripes about being almost dead, trying to fit the bits of his slightly shattered skull back into place.

I shake Juni’s hand. “Congratulations, First Mate.”

She takes Wyther’s sword as a trophy, and she’s earned it, that’s for sure. Meric gathers us together and heals us up a bit…hey, that sad sack half-dragon was actually still alive? Good show.

“Has anyone seen my chronocharm?” Meric asks.

“Nope,” Juni says…a little too suspiciously.

Baelon's Bodacious Blog! Part 6!


AND PISSED! WHERE IS THAT DAMNED…wait, I’m on the ground…and the body of that thing is beside me!
“You said something about boots?” Meric asks.
I grin.
“What happened to the ugly thing?” I ask.
“Oh, it was easy,” Meric replied, “I killed it with two spells.”
“Why do I love and hate you at the same time?”
Meric has saved my bacon yet again- time to return the favor. He focuses on the battle, and I see trouble; Lamorians are attacking Kira and closing in on Meric’s sister, Elora. We’ll fix that. I rush to intercept, hacking at the Lamorian attacking Elora. The blade cuts deep and the creature screams a fit- I’m sure it’s cursing at me in whatever hellish language it speaks. Meric turns into some kind of cat and flies towards the Retriever. Elora thankfully takes a step backwards, her orb whizzy by the Lamorian’s head- and mine for that matter! A beam of something fires from the Retriever, completely missing Meric the Cat. The Lamorian decides that I’m more of a threat than Elora, and skewers me in the foot! OW!
Angrily, I slice the thing into three equal parts, vindicated as its pieces fall over the side. Kira kills the other that was pestering him. I see that Meric grows to an enormous size. There is no current threat here, so I go hobble down the rope bridge, hoping to get some more combat action. Meric continues to fight the Retriver alone, cleaving its head from its shoulders.
The people down on the other ship’s deck deal with the last of the pirates. They seem to be arguing about something, but for the moment I’m glad I’m alive, despite not actually doing much myself. I figure, I should probably learn how to assess a danger more carefully, rather than just letting everything hit me. I thought I had learned my lesson after the giant octopod things at the underground temple, but apparently that’s not the case….

Baelon's Bodacious Blog! Part 5!
On the island to kick ass and chew +1 gum of transcendant ass-kicking...and we're all out of gum.

So, Kira, Meela, Yeferia and me are wandering around this weird island that took us a while to get to, and then had the audacity to hide from us. Imagine! Anyway, we didn’t let that stop us for too long, and we found ourselves on the dock soon after, slaying these pirates and almost getting perforated by their silly plank traps. In a short but fierce combat, we were assaulted by those teleporting monkeys, and Meela gets taken. We can’t stop to wait for her, so we forge ahead. A spear flies out of the water when I step on a plank, I almost got my ears forcibly pierced by one! Which wouldn’t be bad, I suppose, because I’ve had my eye on this really ornate hoop earing that—

Focus, focus!

Carefully, we enter this dockside hut, and by carefully I mean I charged at it and tried to bash it down, but on this accursed isle, these crazy pirates have been fortifying their doors with adamantine, and I just bounce off, getting sprayed in the face with some kind of smelly gas. I’m gonna bash the crap out of this—


I’m surrounded by porcupines! Those creepy little animals that have joined together to silence me forever! I have to get away! AWAY! I barrel past them and out of the room, as their creepy eyes follow me chittering in their infernal language for my demise! I cannonball into the brackish water, hoping against desperate hope to get away from them even as…as…

The gas. The stupid door tricked me! Angrily I swim back and stomp towards the door where my allies are waiting for me, and Yeferia looks at me like I’ve sprouted mushrooms out of my head.

“You son of a bitch!” I yell at the door, and bash it into splinters. The pirates on the other side stand agape, but they and their stupid door tricked me! No mercy! I spew fire at them, and they are very frightened and a couple of them are on fire. They scream, closing the door on themselves in the brig. The newly joined Gimpy Sid tells us about Lavinia and more Savage Tide pearls. They’re everywhere now, and there’s almost no hope of getting them all. We all resolve to kick some piratey ass!

We come to these ships stuck in the giant Vrishka trees, which we’re told is their homebase of sorts. We charge forward (all except Gimpy Sid, who has a broken leg), and the pirates sound the alarm a few of them fire ballistae at us, and I note them for extermination- and that’s when another pirate comes out and blankets us with this odd curtain of darkness that makes us soulsick. This guy is much more of a threat that some oversized bow flingers, and I sprint out of the darkness while my compatriots finish off the rabble. With Haste, I make easy work of the rope bridge of the ship Two-Faced Wretch, intending to visit a quick death on this captain. I charge ahead, and the captain shimmers.

Oh, the joke’s on me.

The captain turns into giant snake-like creature, which splits off at the upper torso into two baboon headed bodies with six arms apiece. Each arm carries a dangerous blade, but I think I’m up to this. It strikes me with its blades, barely cutting into my tough hide, I chuckle. I’m gonna cut this fruity snake into tiny…tiny…wait, what’s…I think I’m on the ground but….that can’t be. This guy….oh, he’ll understand if I just close my eyes here to concentrate, and….and…

Yeferia's Travel Journal, Part 267 (Part 1 of the new book)
Apes in the night

I’ll be very relieved when we get out of Scuttlecove. People keep trying to kill us! I suppose it is to be expected; we’re a group of crusaders for good in a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Tonight’s attack, though, really takes the cake.

It’s a good thing that I got over my phobia of simian creatures. It was incredibly embarrassing becoming a gibbering puddle of goo whenever I saw something that even vaguely resembled a monkey. I swear, every other demon we fought looked like an ape! That was probably my imagination, but it seriously seemed as though it was above average. It is a good thing, as I was saying, because the Yuan-ti decided we had been snooping around too much in their affairs, and thought it would be a good idea to bring some bar-lguras along.

I’ve suddenly realized a problem that should have been obvious a long time ago. Demons like to confuse people. A very good way of confusing people is to make it so they can’t see. Thus, demons frequently cast “darkness” spells. These spells are impossible to get rid of, except with other spells, such as “daylight” or “celestial brilliance” spells. This is a good thing because I can cast that spell. Unfortunately, I have consistently forgotten to prepare it until now.

In any case, that problem will be dealt with. The fight itself went tolerably well. The Baelan got himself stuck in a ball of glass, and Captain Deva got stuck in her cabin, although both managed to come through fine. Merik and Kira did the best in the fight out of all of us; Kira did well in a grapple for once, and got a lot of licks in. So did Merik, though his axe did end up in the drink. He seems to be very fascinated with his new sword; it seems to be an exceptional blade, and it’s really rather surprising that he can swing it with one hand. No one was seriously injured, and the only person we lost was the old beggar woman who it seems jumped ship during the fight. I can’t say I blame her, although I do feel rather sorry about it. She may not have been a particularly good person, but I felt sorry for her and she deserved to get away from this wretched place. In any case we, put paid to the bar-lguras and the yuan-ti, except for the ones that decided to hightail it out.

Captain Deva was decidedly unamused by the whole shoddy incident, and we’re leaving in the morning. Qualms about the old woman aside, I won’t be sorry to put this place to my back. Well, I will miss the bazaar. So maybe this pirate city wasn’t so bad after all, but the overpowering blindness I get whenever I turn on my “detect evil” vision is, well, overpowering.

Next, on to The Wreck!

Quit harping on me!

So, it is I, Kira Tenryu, reporting on the so-called progress of our party of misfits and misanthropes. Whether it bespeaks our combat prowess and efficiency or our general lack thereof, there isn’t much to report. After Baelon came back from his second trip to the Porphyry House the group resolved to head to the Bird Cage, a brothel/torture parlor run by a bunch of shaven harpies (what is wrong with this town?). Armed with nothing but some silence bombs and our wits, we charged the place, declining to make an appointment at the front desk. Once inside, we made our way to the spacious inner chambers, where we were met by several of the aforementioned naked harpies. Ye gods, they were ugly. I’ve seen demons shat forth from the abyss, and they had nothing on these things. Wasting no time, we got down to the nitty-gritty of combat. Then things got weird. The harpies started singing, and the music started messing with our minds. We managed to silence-bomb one of the harpies, but now that I have NO WINGS we had some difficulty dealing with the flying buggers. Throughout the entire ignominious battle, most of our group was driven crazy by the music and sent running screaming out the door. For my part, I was simply overcome with the certain knowledge that Iago was an enemy that needed to be destroyed. Perhaps that was a sign from Hoar. Regardless, the fact of the matter is that the girls (minus Yeferia, who turned tail and was halfway across town practically before blood was shed) were largely responsible for dealing with the harpies. Elora’s “Orb of Force” thingy always seems to cause a lot of damage. Maybe Casidhe should learn that one. The study would give her something to occupy her time. She’s been making eyes at Meric ever since he raised her from the dead, and frankly, it’s a little disturbing. Anyway, after the harpies were finally dead, we set about freeing slaves and looting. We found an old friend, Captain Harliss Javell, in one of the upper-level torture rooms. Hopefully she can lend us some assistance against the Crimson Fleet. As a side note, that bastard Iago just disappeared on us. He got some letter and just took off! Unfortunately, we’ll have to deal with him later, since we can’t just go after him, wherever he went.

Something I wrote down on a napkin and mailed to my followers

Dearest Argile,

Below I have written a text to be shared with the followers. I also wanted to discuss our affairs with you. I hope the persuasion of the Council at Farshore is going well. We most endeavor to hasten the conversion of these non-believers as I fear that my time on this plane might come to an abrupt end soon. But all things happen as the Goddess wills! We have much work to do in this world. Much of which others might disapprove of, but I believe that they will either come to see reason or be swept away with the tide of history! We need Farshore as a first step in the spread of the faith. Only through its wealth and connection to both the new world and the old shall we see prosperity for the Church in our lifetime! If that means a few individuals need to be dealt with so be it.

I have arrived at the pirate cove unharmed and in relatively good spirits. I have attempted to acquire a slave as a personal servant, but to no avail. I will try again soon. I did hear mention of an orphanage, maybe I will try there. If I can I would also like to sell the giantess to the slavers and make money for our operations. If that were to go wrong and she escapes or the party kills the slaver I would, of course, just claim to have done it to teach the slaver a lesson about the wickedness of the slave trade. I might attempt to slay the Lady Lavinia if given an opportunity to do so undetected. She has proved to be unmoved by my words and teachings in the past and she represents an impediment to the growth of the Church! This will make our work all the easier. But we shall have to wait and see what happens. Remember that this message is for you alone. Only share what is written below with anyone else. I wish you all the best!

The Church’s humble servant,


To the Goddess’s beloved followers!

I have news worthy of rejoicing! I have made it to the pirate cove unharmed. The place’s real name escapes my memory but that is a trivial matter. It was a fairly uneventful journey to this place of thieves and debauchery. We did see some sort of birds on one day but they escaped our gaze soon enough. I spend the duration of the trip spreading the word of our fine church to the non-believers and lapsed followers of our most revered Goddess. Although these sailors proved too superstitious and blasphemous to take much heed in this humble servant of the Goddess. On several occasions we saw the Lady Lavinia in a most disheveled state aboard the pirate vessel. Let it be known that she has suffered the most egregious indignities and that those responsible shall be brought to justice in the name of Her Most Holy Church!!

We hatched a most ingenious scheme to gain entry to this unholy place. The half giant Meela volunteered to act as a slave so that we might disguise ourselves as a band of slavers. This plan did succeed, for a while. I took liberty to attempt to free a slave from the clutches of these monstrous men. However, it was all a clever ruse designed to rob me of my possessions! I, of course, saw through this and came away unscathed! Oh how I bemoan the fact that I was not able to save one of these lost children! Fear not, however, as there will be times in the future that I might liberate one of these sorry figures! After this run in I again took the initiative much to the approval of the party! I found a beggar woman to serve as a guide in this place. The half devil, who is even less devil now, Kira offered what she asked for, a mere copper piece. But I saw through to this humble and poor woman and gave to her all that I could, a whole gold piece. If only the half devil could learn the true meaning of service! I ask that you all pray that he might learn this lesson!

After this the old woman led us to her home. There we revealed ourselves and hour holy mission! The woman wept with joy at the good news, our arrival, that we brought her! She has been moved by my teaching and has asked to join the colony at Farshore! Greet her warmly and make her feel as welcome as possible. I see that she might prove a great ally for the Goddess and the Church. After this meeting she told us where we could find more people who seek to help others and rid the world of evil. So we set off to meet them.

We were only a few blocks away from the old woman’s house when the attack came. We noticed a group of men following us from afar. One minute they were there and the next they had vanished only to reappear next to us with swords drawn! It was a tense fight but we soon prevailed! I slayed one of the evil doers with my own hands! Afterward I offered a short prayer of forgiveness for his soul that he might find peace in the next life. I have forgotten who took down the next foe but at that point the others once again vanished into thin air and were gone.

We collected our belongings and our thoughts and continued on our journey, now aware that we were being pursued by the invisible agents of evil itself! We arrived shortly to the doorstep of those that seek good in this retched place. This is where I must leave the story for today. But fear not there is much more to tell and many more good works to be done here in this place. Until next time!

The Goddess’s humble servant,

Iago the Pious

From the Journal of Kira Tenryu

“Insanity sublime shall make my bleeding heart
Feel cold and fearless anger rising far beyond the dark”

Never really understood the words to that song until now. Now, I understand it all too clearly. The rage is still there; no longer overpowering, but I feel it coursing through me with every beat of my reborn heart. I feel calm, focused, intense. No wings, no horns, no fiendish magical powers. Just swords, tattoos, and a really fat bird. And lots of anger.

Lavinia is gone. It took a while to register, since the news came so soon after her letter. I feel like this is somehow my fault, but instead of running away from it, I want to do something to fix it. I’ve been a coward for far too long. I’ve run away from everything, my whole life. Turned my back on my family, ran away from the monastery, ran across a whole damn continent. I’m tired of running. I’m tired of being afraid. I never tried to make friends with anyone, because I was afraid that one day I would discover that it had all been a lie. But somehow, along the way I found a place where I can belong. I’ve actually found people that care about me. Tico, Axtli, Yeferia, so many others. They came for me, when I needed them most. They saved me from myself.


“Dammit. Poth! I need another feather!”

Lavinia. The closer I got to her, the more scared I became. The more I wanted to run. She deserves better. So if she really no longer wants anything to do with me, that’s fine. Someday, I’ll learn to deal with it. But right now, she needs help. We’ll figure the rest out later. I still love her, and I can’t stand the thought of her suffering. I will go to her, to the very Hells themselves if I must, to bring her back. And the gods help whatever gets in my way.


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