The Savage Tide

Baelon's Bodacious Blog! Part 9!
Of crazy barbarians, sexy demons, and teen dragons.

So there we are; us, and the monkey people, Gorillons, are waiting for us. One of them makes a crude gesture at Casidhe. I immediately mark that one for a particularly brutal ass kicking.

“Baelon, negotiate,” Kira says. I wave at them and say hello in Draconic. It’s not my fault that abyssal monkey people don’t speak my language! It looks confused, and charges us anyway.

I can say I tried, right?

Shokti charges forward, and begins hacking away at the crazy monkey people. Kira casts Freedom of Movement (I’m pretty sure it’s that, anyway- I’m no slouch when it comes to knowing most things arcane). This barbarian guy knows how to take a hit, that’s for sure! He can trade them pretty well, and proceeds to slice and dice this monkey guy with a raptor claw and a club with teeth all over it, with one big tooth at the top from a dragon turtle. One of them flees into the fog, and Casidhe does something horrible to the other that approached. Shokti takes a swing at one as it also flees into the fog. These guys are pretty tough, though, and retaliate fiercely. I take a few good lumps myself. I return the favor, though, digging into bastardly monkey flesh. I see Juni coming up on my right, stumbling over her own bootlaces, and the Gorillon smacks the crap out of her. There’s a whoosh at my back, and suddenly Kira appears beside me. His attack is fierce.

Shokti screams loudly, and for a moment, I’m afraid that they’ve killed him. However, he runs towards the one attacking me and beats on him (after they’re done trying to kill him). After a moment we’re trading blows with these guys, and I get a few good hits in. These guys are tough, but not as tough as us! Juni creeps past us, stabbing wildly at the Gorillon in the fog. Kira takes a step back, guarding Cass and casting a spell that I can’t see the result of. Shokti continues to crash and bash his way through these guys. Juni and Shokti beat on another one until it stops moving. Cass throws another Orb of force, and the Gorillon runs away. Shokti runs screaming into the fog- and stops screaming, followed by a sickening thump. I suppose that’s why you don’t go running off into a fog bank in the Abyss. Damn, and I wanted his harpoons, too! Alas, poor Shokti….I didn’t know him well.

Anyway, Cass casts Mass Fly, and we fly over the thick wooded forest, spying a well below that has a Retreiver in it! We are cautious; we know that the creature will attack within a certain range. At least, we think it would. Juni flies down into the hole, and much to my horrific surprise, she makes it all the way down! I realize I’m holding my breath a minute later, and Juni is still alive. Kira flies down a moment later, and I tell him I have his back, waving my scimitar around. There’s no sounds coming out, puzzling the heck out of me. I lost sight of Juni, and Kira is just standing there. It’s times like this that I wish I knew how to play charades. Or something.

Kira and Juni fly back up and tell us that Planeshifting would be a good idea, followed by a trip to Broken Reach. I’m all for going back home, but not so keen on going back to the Abyss! But, oh well, what can we do? We need healing, and we need help. We join hands, and prepare for the shift. After a brief moment spent hovering above the water, we end up back in Farshore. We’re greeted by Tavi, who is adorable for his age. He tells Kira something, but I’m too busy feeling a bit of agony to notice.

We go to Iago’s Shack for some healing. Turns out, the guy brews a lot of healing beer, and I buy a lot of that. We go our separate ways. As it happens, I think I’ve developed a taste for the brothels in Scuttlecove, but I know I can’t get there under my own power. I’d hate to think that adventuring has turned me into a lech, but there it is. Better than a lich, I suppose.

I think of Mirri, actually. I think she knows how to teleport, and I’d feel more comfortable asking her rather than Casidhe. How do you ask a teenager to teleport you into a pirate brothel? You can’t, not easily anyway. I think I’ll go see Mirri. I find Mirri and Tico, who is not startled when I start blithering on about money and hookers. Tico politely declines my offer, but I wasn’t after her anyway. Hell no, not after what I heard about those twelve guys she annihilated with nothing more than her breasts of divine fury. Mirri wants a favor, though. She’s expecting a package that I can pick up while I’m in Scuttlecove, but I have to get the fingertrap from Kira and deliver it to that half-orc woman. Why not? This way, everybody wins!

I get to Scuttlecove, and I have my fun. I give the fingertrap to our half-orc friend, who gives me a book for Mirri, who swipes it upon my return.

I show up at the Last Coconut. After munching from burnt porridge, a little dragon swaggers through the door, wanting to join the party. Interesting. He’s basically a kid, but he says his god sent him here to join us. I feel sorry for him, though. His god must be cracked if he’s sending kids to help us out. Not that I’m not grateful for the help, and Ben is a nice guy, for a copper dragon.

We finish breakfast, and we’re back in the Abyss, looking for Pazunia, I think. We see a city in the distance, and begin walking towards it. The closer we get, the more fortified the city becomes. We also see a caravan full of mercanes and tieflings. We move ahead of the caravan and reach the guarded gates. A giant-headed manthing with red hair guides us into the city after a few trivial questions. The statues are rather risqué, but overall, it’s a homey place.

We’re shown in to a throne room, and we meet the lady of the city, I think. She’s pretty, but then again, we’re in the Abyss. Can I really trust my eyes. She and Kira exchange words, and I don’t think she’s taking us very seriously. I can’t imagine why; we’re a very intimidating group. However, she gets off her throne and begins nibbling Kira’s ear, and then tells us to leave in about 24 hours. We leave town, holing up in the giant mansion that Cass summons. Juni finds Ben’s happy scratch spot in no time, and I lament that I have to pay to have a girlfriend. It makes me wonder if something is wrong with me, but I don’t care. I think I’ll spend the money to buy a love golem or something.

Casidhe has a good look at that tooth, but I don’t know what they mean. Ben exposit that perhaps the tooth can be used to bind the creature that it belongs to. Afterwards, Ben and I talk about my boots, but I think he thinks I’m bullshitting him.

Afterwards, we teleport..right into the fog! Turns out, the fog is lightly acidic, but it doesn’t hurt us that much. We stuff Elora into the Magnificent mansion. And, she also brought Mikle.


Letter to Yeferia

My lovely Yeferia;

I had a visit from you uncouth servant, Kira. His description of your beauteous defense of all that is good and pure moved me to tears. I hope this missive finds you well and that your mission goes well in that Gods-forsaken prison. This Saureya must be some creature, to have survived so long amidst such evil. The light of your purity must be a balm to their spiritual wounds!

I have thrown my country into your efforts—surely this demon will take all of our might to defeat. My seer-sages scour the multiverse for information on him and this dastardly plan, my griffon riders mobilize, trainers assist the Archangels and my smith’s forges run day and night. Please, if there is anything you need for your own efforts, do not hesitate, I will not fail you! Ah, it wounds me, this separation, as a Lady once said:

At what price
is fonder:
gentle rain

You may have the use of this messenger for you cause, simply identify to whom you would like this delivered to, as if scrying(be sure to specify on what plane the creature is currently).

Your ardent servant,

Letter to Elora

Greetings from this humble servant of RA to his daughter Elora Atsu Bakari. My grief for my son Meric is unyielding, surpassed only by my pride at his steadfastness and heroic resolve. Surely the Arch Angels are blessed by his actions and your presence.

Your request has touched us, to the very person of Hattusa, Chosen of RA, shepherd of His flock. To learn more of this dire threat, I send his envoy, Burnaburiash. Please treat her well and allow her to investigate and report promptly.

May RA light your way to justice!

Attatarna, General of the Third Fane, True Son of Hattusa, Chosen shepherd of RA

Baelon's Bodacious Blog Part 8: Baelon Takes Manhattan (I mean, the Abyss, which is like the same thing)
We're in the Abyss...again.

A servant of Ra shows up and begins talking. It makes me wonder: Who the heck is Ra? That old guy, Ruaquiss, is being cranky at Juni, who seems to take it all in stride. She wants to know what we’re going to do with the shards of the Shadow Pearl. She asks about our leadership, and the old guy mentions Tico. I tell her of how Tico is a fearsome warrior, defeating fifteen assassins with her chest! I do take some pork from the old guy, but since it’s not all the way cooked, I have to use my fire breath to finish it up. It is pretty good though.

We make it to Tico’s office, and Juni beats a hasty retreat, and I’m afraid we caught her off guard. Well, I’m not really afraid…but maybe, I mean she did just defeat all those assassins…

Burna (I think that’s it) begins talking to Tico, and I think my eyes glaze over. Mirri says something about a shield, but I think Elora is still hurting a lot from her brother dying. After all that talking, we attempt to figure out what to do next. I think we’re gonna kill some snake people to get this Shield of Praetor back. I believe it can do a lot of things that Meric’s dung beetle can do. The old guy randomly says that he hates intelligent items, but as for myself, I don’t know. I hate squishy socks, though, and he says he’ll polymorph the next couple of demons into socks. We might get along, but eventually, he might figure out that I’m not retarded. Oh well.

After some shenanigans, we’re ready to go, but Ruaquiss has to go to the bathroom, so we wait. Juni comes back from the bathroom, and we’re all ready to go. A second later, and we’re there! The old guy summons a disk to get around, Juni sneaks, and hell, I activate my armor’s ability to fly out of sheer jealousy. We tromp through the forest, trying really hard not to argue back and forth like normal, and…what’s that on my boot. Oh man, these are nice boots! What the hell—

Serpent folk just pop out of nowhere! They leap out of the…well, someplace! Holy crap! Juni becomes a whirlwind of activity, and winds up spinning herself into dizziness by stabbing the crap out of a tree. It falls over, bleeding to death. She leaps over to another and stabs it to death, while the old guy resists another attack. In short order, we waste these guys.

When their backup shows up, we hide. Ru has the idea to follow them back to their lair and we find their secret entrance! Thanks to Juni, we don’t set off their poisonous fire trap, and make our way into the lair. Apparently, these snakefolk like to poison all their doorknobs- we’ve got Elora using her telekinesis to open the doors, so no problem. But…why bother? Is it flavoring? Do they taste through their hands? Man, these snakefolk are crazy!

For some reason, Ru pats me on the head and says, “How cute, it thinks it can cast spells.” I smile broadly. One of these days, old man…

We come across a room full of magic stuff, but I’m not having an easy time identifying, so I don’t care.

We hear chanting from behind the next big door, and the snakefolk seem to be summoning a doorway of some kind. Well, we can fix that.

We burst through the door. Ru casts some sort of bouncy ray-type spell, while Elora attempts to yank the shield away from the guy holding it over the pit of breakiness. Elora keeps yanking the shield away, much to their consternation. A few of them close off the doorway in front of Juni and me- I almost feel sad for them. I think one or two just explode, instantly clearing the way for us. Juni races forward, slaying another of these creatures while the big guy runs away like a little girl. Thanks to Ru hasting us, I line myself up with a couple of them and cast Whirling Blade. Turns out, these guys are rather squishy.

After the battle, we discuss what to do next. We’ve got what we came for; we don’t have to follow the big guy through the mirror. There’s talk, of shattering it, but Ru says bad things happen when you try to break it. Instead, we strap the mirror to one of these guys, unstrap it, and just kill the guy and take the mirror with us. Juni goes wandering off, and comes back with a Shadow Pearl!


Juni and Ru inpsect the thing, confirming the pearl’s effects. Ru teleports away, possibly to a volcano to drop that damned mirror in. I guess that big snakefolk won’t be coming back anytime soon! The rest of us, however, are headed for Hymat. I separate from the group in our downtime; I set down on paper everything that I’ve been doing in the Box. I fear that, at any time, I will shift back to wherever it is I came from, and someone else will take my place. I’m not terribly worried, though: That would just mean that my skills would not be suited to whatever’s gonna happen next.

The next day, we prepare for our next journey, when we’re approached by a huge guy wearing dinosaur bones all over himself. He says his name is Shokti, and he helped kill Emraag the dragonturtle. He’ll either fit in, or die trying! After we accept him into our band of misfits, we circle up; it’s time to go to the Abyss. Juni won’t hold my hand unless I wash them, so I spend a few seconds snorting and hocking…only to grab my canteen and wash them. What can I say? I’m unpredictable!

With new guy in tow, we find ourselves in the Abyss, then we use some kind of tuning fork to get the rest of the way there with another teleport. This place, is almost completely dark, but we make our way through on the marble walkway. When we find the well with the fingertrap, there are already people there that look really shifty. They sort of threaten Elora, which does not fly with me. I conjure a wall of iron between us…for privacy.

Suddenly, a bunch of giant mosquitoes pop out of the hole. Shokti harpoons one of the creatures, and another hits him with a ray of enfeeblement, I’m sure of it. The creature yanks him over the lip over the portal. Hopefully, he’ll live long enough for us to pull him out of it. The creatures summon a bunch of swarmy things, but they don’t last long: Elora dispels them with relative ease. The creatures are a lot more agile than they look, and they avoid my Whirling Blade a little too easily. I’m gonna get these guys! Just to my right, Kira slays another of these monsters, and it tumbles into the hole. Another falls as well.

That’s when I see the hands.

In no time, a bunch of zombie mummy creatures pop out of the hole! They do a lot of damage to us, but I’m about to lay down some hurt on these guys. Elora shoves an Orb of Force towards one of the mosquito guys, and I carve a huge scar across one of these ghouls. Kira slices into the ghoul as well, but it still stands. Shokti hurls his other harpoon at the other creature, and climbs the rest of the way. One of the creatures latches itself onto Kira, who slips his grip, but Juni is not so lucky. Neither am I, as one of the damn things takes a bunch of swipes at me. “Excuse me,” I say to it, while I hack at the mummy attacking Kira and utterly destroy it. I whirl around, burying my blade in the creature’s sternum. Because of Casidhe, one of the creatures vaporizes. Kira cuts into the one on Juni, and all I can see is the flashing of steel. I think Shokti is rummaging around in the hole, but I can’t actually be sure, being as I can’t see into it. Suddenly, Juni leaps off the side of the hole, creature still attached. I can’t really be bothered by it,though, because there is still the one in front of me that I carve into again. Kira slides around me, his own blades digging into the zombie. A bolt of pure light lances between Kira and I, obliterating the creature. With nothing to kill, I activate my armor’s ability to fly, and float down into the hole. I watch as Juni and Shokti decimate the corpse that was attacking them.

Phew! Another life threatening combat, and nobody died. We get ourselves out of the grubby hole. Both Juni and Shokti are covered with grime, and he discovers that we have to go through my wall to continue on, and now it doesn’t seem like such a good idea to do have put it up in the first place. Casidhe creates a sweet looking house in the Abyss for us to crash in, and I’m happy about that. I’m pretty banged up and really tired, so I get a hell of a night’s rest (no pun intended). After eating an enormous amount of food, we leave the mansion and start again.

We traverse the landscape, taking the twists and turns as we do so. We finally come across another pit; this one seems to have trees coming out of it. As we cautiously approach, four barlagoras leap out of the pit!

Oh, it’s on.

Letter to Talmorin

My very dear Tal,

It is a great pleasure and relief to have a letter from you. This is truly a dreadful and terrible place, and I shall not be sorry to put it to my back. However, there is still work to be done here, preparations to be made, although they are taking entirely too long for my liking.

There are few if any more fierce in their desire to see Demogorgon and his servants defeated than Saureya. And yet, I sense an odd hesitancy about him. That he is sincere in helping us strike a blow against our foe, I do not doubt. Despite that, he seems reluctant to commit himself; there are always more drills to be performed, more prisoners to be healed and rehabilitated, more intelligence to be gathered. Once when we went on a scouting mission, he actually refused to set foot outside the prison walls! I suspect the reluctance to leave the place is a reflection of difficulty in putting the past behind him. He seems to have grown so used to living in a prison that, despite being free now, he cannot quite think of himself as a free man. If this goes on for much longer, I will have to take steps to get him to face his past and leave it where it belongs — behind him. He will do no good to himself, or our cause, by living as lord of the dungeon that once imprisoned him.

I am so pleased to hear that your efforts are going so well — your contributions and your peoples’ will be ones to sing of! I look forward to seeing you again, when this wretched war is all over. I dedicated my life to spreading good across the world, and accepted this commission from my goddesses without complaint; but I do yearn for a rest, for a time when I can catch my breath a bit and have something other than the battle against Demogorgon in the forefront of my mind.

All the best,


Baelon's Bodacious Blog! part 7-ish
Overcoming Obstacles!

Going to Nimbral!

Met an old elf guy is very crotchety, but is hilariously awkward. I don’t think he and Kira get long very well. Ruaquiss is his name, I think. He may think I’m retarded. That’s fine, though. Most people think I am. A girl asked about Aztli; I didn’t have the heart to tell her he was dead. I do pat her on the head, though.

We see the high lord of Nimbral, but he’s in a meeting. The old guy walks on the ceiling; confirming that I knew he was hiding remarkable abilities! We find ourselves in a meeting room with people. High Lord didn’t believe us, so we showed him the shadow pearl we brought with us. After he cast Legend Lore on it, however, his beliefs changed greatly enough that he turned pale and had to take a seat. He gets serious and decides to help us out, thankfully. He gives us more spheres, and words of warning. I’m pretty sure that the old guy is going to get one.

From there, we get to Scuttlecove, in front of the Emporium. I’m gonna go see Tyralande, maybe she’ll know about shami-amourae, but not necessarily only for that. I’m afraid I might have thing for them!

So, I see Tyralande, and she gives me a hell of a ride. Afterwards, after we’re down to the pillow talk, I tell her that I’ll give her ten-thousand gold pieces to tell me where I can find Shami-Amourae. She tells me that she’s gotta go consult the archives. She walks out naked, and well, that gets me going again. I, um, ahem take care of some extra business that suddenly came up. I bathe, dress, and await her.

She want me, but chews it back long enough to tell me what I want to know. Rather, she slips me a note- in Abyssal. It looks like I’m gonna outsource this one. That’s what I like about my relationship with Tyralande-no complications, plus I still have to pay her. What more could I possibly ask for? Information in hand, I make my way to the Emporium.

The old man is still standing there when I get there. I ask him if he’s even moved from that spot, and walk by. He tells me about his day, and mentions the wharf area where undead Axtli and us fought. I tell him we had a battle there. He notes that the Emporium is larger on the inside. I ask him about the note, but I don’t know him: I tell him I’m looking for next ex-wife. He crumples the note and walks away, but begins asking me questions. What the hell. I tell him the basic truth. We meet up with Kira, whom I think suspects that I’m playing along with the old man thinking I’m a moron. What can I say? It tickles me! We discuss ways to get to the Wells of Darkness. Teeth, Planeshifting, and Ethereal Jaunt come up, but in the end, we may still have to outsource even more help.

A male tiefling pops up, saying that he can help us. We follow. He takes us to where the Retrievers are, and I’m hoping that he’s on the up and up. We find a female half-orc, and the old guy gives her a porkchop. We haggle out a deal where she gives us a rod and a map, in exchange for getting a fingertrap hidden at the bottom of one of the wells. It’s a deal, and we get the stuff for about ten grand. We make plans, Kira goes looking for a scroll, and the rest of us just hang around for a bit.

But, I do find some skin to put on myself that makes my scales harder, and a very gaudy belt that says “Championship Belt” on it. The negative side is that now I’m broke!

A letter to Yeferia

Dear yeferia

I wanted to send a letter to you to see how you were fairing with the angels and the abyss.
We are currently attempted to gain allies and aid to help us with the oncoming battle. I sent
a letter to my people asking for help as well but we are currently in our own war. I am doubtful for any aid but I needed to try. I am fearful that if we are unable to stop this war it will spill out to other lands and eventually the world will pay the price.
We need to get more help but how?

I was sorting through my brothers belongings and have decided that some of his things
should be among us as well as sold. I would like to offer you his celestial armor but I would
like gold in its place. I think 28,000 gold pieces sounds appropriate for his armor. I have kept it polished as he has and in good repair. Please send me a letter entailing your agreement or disagreement in this proposal.

may RA protect you

Elora Atsu Bakari

Eloras diary

Brother I have been polishing your armor and sword for you as you would have I am sure you would be cross with me if I let it go unpolished. I slept in your bed because it smelled of you but the scent is fading. As I sat in your bed I opened your travel bag and looked inside
I found your orb, I’m sorry brother I tried to wish for you but it sputtered and changed colors. It would not work for me but in truth I knew the power had been used already. Brother I’m sorry I wanted you back even then I did not cry.

Delila has been less shy she ventured from her pocket and cooed at me. I fed her and she sat there with me lightly pecking at the orb. I dismissed my wings it was strange sleeping without them. I’m sure you would find it comical, in truth I dismissed them because I felt unworthy of having them. Later that day I sent off a letter to the general I’m sorry it took so long. I asked him for his aid I can only wait and hope he sends it.

I know why everyone is avoiding me but as I stare blankly at them, I see their pity… I can hear their thoughts which I am trying to avoid. I can not help but hear them.. I hate it I feel rage filling up inside of me. I cannot cry I wont, it would not honor you that is not how a warrior should behave.

I sit here in our room alone polishing your armor quietly with my Delila. I can have comfort in knowing that I will not forget your face because we share the same face. I know you will laugh but I have considered trading your armor to Yeferia she has decided to stay behind in the abyssal plains to further our relationship with the angels. I will keep your sword I cannot part with it yet.

The other day I met a ferret named Meekal I can tell she is as lonely as I am. I do not think she can speak to the others. She comforted me I think we have become friends. I want to keep her in my company perhaps she will join me.

My love to you brother feel comfort in the arms of our father

A sad letter to the general

My apologizes It has taken me sometime to actually put quill to parchment forgive me for the lateness. I must regretfully inform you General that your warrior Meric Atsu Bakari
has fallen in the midst of battle. He now resides with our father RA.
While working for our employers the Arch Angels, we were sent off to a rescue mission
into the abyssal plains, we were successful in our mission and lost only Meric.
Meric fought bravely as any mulhorandi warrior should.

I have decided to remain here for awhile further aiding the Arch Angels as we were sent here to aid them. I have reason to believe that a villain wants to destroy everything in our world.
I must ask you for your help, I realize that we are at war in our homelands
but please consider sending aid to Farshore. I ask for help as a mulhorandi warrior
in place of my brother Meric Atsu Bakari.

Sir if you do not send aid I fear this war will spill into our own lands and others beyond ours. We cannot afford to fight our own battle and the coming one. I can only see devastation
please consider my wisdom.

Elora Atsu Bakari

“dip 33’

Eye on Ire

In the eye is all revealed;
Thru the eye events unfold.
In Ire’s eyrie lairs the foe
Swinging free is bound their goal.

Kululblax the cruel warden
lost control thru control’s loss.
Now to wash away the evil,
Stop the raging or be lost.

The filthy shator demodand
bathes in corruption without end.
Belshamoth disgusts all comers,
his lust unsated drives him mad.

Lillianth is high contender
for the Ire’s dubious throne.
Betrayals are her constant worry,
knowing one is sure to come.

The lich has gotten in a pickle
since Vanthus’ arrival time.
Orgosh would grant you some assistance
if you can stand the bottom line.

If you see between reality,
S’Sharra’s looking back at you.
She is quite the demon’s demon,
this kelvezu has it in for you.

When you face the final showdown,
bring your friends and all his foes.
Or just unleash the firey fury,
but beware the drake’s magma flow.


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